I just want to meet a nice boy. I saw KH tonight and I should've pursued that when I had the chance. I mean my reasons for not were valid. On top of the whole number twelve mess and not being ready for a relationship, he wants to settle down and get married and have kids. And I'm not really there just yet, and I especially was not there a year ago. I want to settle down with a boy though. My life is about to change drastically and it'd be nice to meet someone who is willing to live a similar lifestyle because I'm not going to be going out partying all the time anymore or drinking on Sundays. I have to grow up and be an adult.
KH is a very nice boy. He's the type of boy you marry. To this day, he still calls me dear every time he sees me. He came and gave me a big hug when he got there tonight and before he left. He's polite and kind and responsible but he is also fun and sometimes irresponsible and full of chirps.
He's found a nice girl. I met her tonight and I already like her. She is social and full of comments and just seems good for him. He looks so incredibly happy when he looks at her. And I am so happy for him because he has wanted this for a long time.
None of that changes the fact that I want to meet a nice boy. I have always been under the impression that you'll find the right person when you stop looking. I'm not looking per se but I'm not opposed to men anymore either. For a very long time I kept my heart locked away. I wasn't ready to deal with everything with number twelve let alone any other boy at that point. I'm ready now, I think. I want to experience life with a different man. I want to see if my love for number twelve is as real as I think it is or if I was just young and naive.
No comments:
Post a Comment