moving on from him is impossible when I still see it all in my head.

Today is the closest I've come to texting number twelve in ages. It has been exactly 7 weeks since we spoke... Well, since he spoke to me. I never answered. I think it's hard because he was my best friend for so long. And I have great other friends and I have met wonderful friends the last few months. But, because there's always a but, none of them are him. There is a part of me that no one else will ever have. It's a part of me that's his now. And I am okay with the fact that he will always have it even if we are never together again, it's his. And it always will be.
I have so many exciting things going on right now and I just want to tell him all about it. When I found out my practicum placement, I wanted to call him. I saw his sister last night and told her about it and I just wanted it to be him that I was telling. I think if I hadn't lost my best friend and the love of my life all at once, it'd be okay. But I did. He was the first person I told anything to. He was always the one I wanted to tell when I had a great day or a bad day or the worst day.
I think it's something that's never going to go away. I will always love him and I'm okay with that. And I have so many wonderful things in my life to be thankful for, and I am, and I appreciate all that I have. But we always want more, and I want him. I miss him.