I want to go grocery shopping with you.

So I'm actually doing really good in life minus the fact this day sucks balls and I want to die from hangover/lack of sleep/lack of healthiness in the last few days (is healthiness even a word?). Anyways JP and I went for lunch yesterday and had a good chat about things, especially boys. We talked about her and JL which is kind of sad because I really like him and he really, really loves her.
We also talked about number twelve and I kind of explained the situation with him and sofa king to her. We started talking about number twelve and how I'm not completely wrapped up in him like I used to be and how I'm doing well with everything but then she asked me a funny question that got me thinking. She asked me if when I see him do I still get butterflies. And I haven't seen him since November but I can tell you for sure that there were still butterflies and sparks and all the rest of it. And I started to wonder if that would ever go away. I mean that's not common. Most people don't have that kind of connection with someone, especially so early in life. And I'm not talking about the "we've been dating 2 weeks and are obviously now in love" high school bullshit because him and I never did that. We didn't say those words until we broke up 2 and a half years later.
I have been thinking about it more and more just kind of trying to understand it, or at least analyze the shit out of it because that's what I do. And I guess I can't explain it to anyone else so I don't know if it's even worth trying but I'm going to half attempt to explain where my thinking led me. I think that number twelve and I had such an adult relationship too young. I know how silly that seems and not in the sense that we were super mature because we weren't, we both did some very dumb, immature things. But at the same time, we didn't live near each other. We didn't do the 16 year old dinner and a movie dates or getting drunk in the movie theatre or anything like that. We lived real life together. We went grocery shopping and ran errands and baked and cooked and cleaned and studied and just anything we could to actually spend time together because it was just so limited. We lived our daily lives when we were in the same city as an old married couple would. We spent time with out families and just did lame things.
Anyways I don't know. I guess I was just wondering if that feeling I get in the pit of my stomach when I see him or talk to him is ever going to go away.