Wednesday, March 3, 2010

do you want to be a blue devil?

i surely do. i want to go to duke so bad. and it's terrible but i was just so afraid. i want to get out of this comfort zone of going home every weekend and having my family like so involved in my life and just live. i want to do something that isn't me. that doesn't involve me taking care of everyone else, all the time. i could've gone but i was scared. and now i have no idea why. i wish i could win the lottery or something so i could actually afford to go without putting dad in debt. see that's just it, unless i won the lottery or something, my parents would never allow me to pay for my education. and i'm really thankful for that because i wouldn't even qualify for student loans so i definitely would not be going to school right now.

i want to go to duke. so bad. you don't understand what it's like there. i've wanted this for a long time, i wrote my sats, all of it. i was so enthralled by the idea. i even made our family vacay two summers ago be to north carolina. probably the most amazing thing ever. i love it there. i felt so at home there. it was so me. everything about it. i think i needed to do what i have, but if it were financially viable, i'd be there in a second.

here's to hoping.

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