Yesterday I posted a screenshot of a conversation with J yesterday morning. I didn't even think about it but S reminded me that by not hanging out with him or even texting him last night I was kind of playing hard to get. That kind of hit me funny because I don't really do that. I mean I'm conscious of how much I text him but it wasn't even like I was trying to engage him and then not hangout. I would've probably gone there if S wasn't here but I was tired and appreciative of her coming down so I wouldn't have wanted to go there then come home. And I know what J is like and I don't know how receptive he would be to someone else coming. And I would really like to hang out just us two because I really haven't seen him in the last 3 weeks and we haven't spoken as much so I feel like he would be very censored if someone else were there.
I think it's good I've backed off a little bit. He knows I care but I think he needs to know I won't pine for him forever. I also think it's really interesting to talk to S about J because her perspective is so unique. She is thoughtful and insightful and understands me in a way that no one else does.
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