HJR called me tonight too. We haven't spoken much and she apologized. She's like I've been that person that I hate, I know and I'm sorry. I got a boyfriend and I just kind of dropped off the face of the earth.
I respect that she realized it. I respect that it was only a month of two and she realized that she is neglecting friendships and as a result is trying to mend them. That speaks volumes to me, that she said it instead of me. I appreciate her apology and more than accept it. I know what it's like to be wrapped up in a boy you love.
What was more surprising to me is that she said I am absolutely in love with him and I can see myself spending the rest of my life with him. She's like I know, I know. And people always used to tell me when you know, you know and I never understood it, but I do now. Me being me, I'm like wow. I was speechless a bit. She's like I already know what ring I want and we've talked about getting engaged; it helps that he's older and much more mature.
I was just so taken aback by all of it. I was so stunned by the fact that marriage after less than 3 months is even an option. I know there was a courting period before the dating. But that still makes it maximum 7 months since this whole thing began.
I'm happy for her though. I'm trying to not let my bitter heart be judgemental. Maybe she really does know. She isn't the type to make a rash decision like that. I suppose I am just so far disconnected from a relationship that I cannot fathom marriage at this point. I mean, if number twelve asked me to marry him tomorrow, I'd say no. And that's saying something because at some point I can see a future with him.
Maybe that's why it's tough for me. I mean I feel like he is the one and I can't explain that. I've thought that for a long time. And maybe it's because marriage is FAR away for me. We are nowhere near ready for marriage.
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