They're never ever be another you.

"There are all kinds of love in this world, but never the same love twice.
-F. Scott Fitzgerald

Maybe this is the key to number twelve and I. Maybe no matter how much I love him, I need to move on because I am right, I'm never going to love someone the same way I love him. I'm not ready yet but maybe one day. Because I cannot wait  forever and I am so exhausted. I hate not talking to him. It's hard because I spend the day with him like Monday and then he's gone again. Monday was one of the best days I've had in a long time. We just sat in his room and talked and unpacked for like 3 hours. It was amazing. I had a moment when I cried. And he came in trying to make feel better but it's just so hard.
When we left, JP looked at me and she was like, "You really love him hey". And I was just like yeah I really do. She talked about how she could tell, how she's never seen me like that with anybody and how she hasn't seen many people ever look at each other the way that him and I look at each other. She said it was amazing because just looking at each other and the way we talk to each other, you can see how much we love one another.
As amazing as that was to hear, it was hard. It is hard.
It is hard for me because of the little things. Like he kept filling up my water glass while I was laying in his bed. And his momma made cookies that were sitting on the counter and I was like are those mom's cookies and he's like yes have one. Then before I left he was like make sure you take some cookies. So PD and JP and SD were there and then Number twelve made coffee. So he gave JP and I to-go mugs and he made my coffee with exact amounts of what I like in it, put the lid on and packed my like snacks for the drive home. Like how could I ever not love him.