Fucked.

I am honestly one of the weirdest people you will ever meet. I am great at being fun and going out but a good 99 percent of the time I would much rather be at home. I love drinking wine but I'd rather drink it alone. I love to study and halfway through the summer I can't wait to go back to school.
I really enjoy being alone and not answering to anybody else but at the same time I almost break down into tears being around my sister and TH sometimes. I want someone to be at my beck and call but I don't want to have to commit. I just want to have someone be around when I want without any emotional attachment. It's not the physical part I'm afraid of. That's almost easier. I am afraid to even let someone else see I have a heart let alone give it to them. I'm not even really sure I ever got it back. But I'm not sure I want number twelve to have it either if he's going to be so careless with it. What am I to do.