Today is sunshine's birthday. And for the first time, I'm not saying happy birthday. I don't know, I suppose I'm really over that. I have been reminiscing a lot lately, thinking about high school and the person I used to be. I started thinking about the people I was close with and the things we used to do.
I feel so distant from that person. I don't even know how I was that person, or why I thought I needed to be 'good enough' for them. I don't know it just seems like such a different time, 3 years ago. It's crazy to think that this time 3 years ago my Japanese students just went home. Sunshine was in England with AM and his family. I think about AM sometimes, (not AM I usually talk about). I wonder how he is and I hope his life is going well. I think in a lot of ways he got caught up in their appeal. He's nothing like them though. He is a really good, genuine guy.
I think I'm just so happy I moved on. I wish I would have done some things differently, sure. But I really do think that I've become a better person. I was more selfless then, but I was unhealthy. And unhappy. I sometimes feel like my friends are so stagnant. They are complacent. And I understand, I mean if you aren't pursuing something, knowledge, courage, or something worth while, you are going to remain complacent. Especially when you are friends with the same people, in the same town, doing the same thing every weekend.
I should really get to the library and study, I just was thinking. Silly me.
No comments:
Post a Comment