i've been trying to tell myself that i'm okay without him and i'll get over it but i'm not okay. it's killing me. and i don't know what to do. i had a panic attack because i'm so incredibly stressed out and he's not here to make it better. i just want him to realize i'm not okay. i'm trying to be strong for him so that we can be friends because i know he wants that and i need him in my life but i don't feel strong. i don't feel anything. the pain has become a numbness. it's just there and part of my life now. and i guess it's just going to take some getting used to.
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