cowtown.

so i decided to visit number twelve for the weekend. i kinda wanted to go to animal drinking day (today you have to drink a type of alcohol that includes an animal.. ex. grey goose). instead i decided to come here, like i was really hard to convince. i'm not sure what to think right now. i want to believe he's too good of a person and he still cares about me but i almost feel like this is about sex for him. and it kinda crushes me. i'm a pretty big mess. and i think he can see i'm upset because he keeps asking what's wrong. a huge  part of it is that he has a picture of nh. re: the girl i can't stand that he took to the wedding. and it hurts me that he has no pictures of him and i here. i know it's silly but i just wanna feel important to him. and i know that's a shallow thing to care about and our relationship should be based on more and it is, but sometimes the little things mean the most.