Also tonight I let my puppy out. I'm standing om the sidewalk up to the front porch while armani is going pee in the snow and a ram guns by us 10 feet from where I'm standing. Armani chases after him and I start losing my shit because earlier the guy next door said be careful because there's been lots of animals around and they will kill the dogs. Like almost bawling so terrified of my puppy. We went for a short walk about an hour later so both dogs could pee but I kept them on a leash just in case there were animals out. Neither of them would leave my ankles even to pee. I had to step into the snowbank for them. They must have sensed the wild animals.
Saturday, March 22, 2014
Sunday, March 16, 2014
Saturday, March 15, 2014
Thanks, S.
1:Is there a boy/girl in your life? Physically, no. My heart still belongs to number 12 even from 2000 miles away.
2:Think of the last person who hurt you; do you forgive them? Yeah, I have learned not forgiving people usually hurts you more than them.
3:What do you think of when you hear the word “meow?” I hate cats. I actually am mildly terrified of them.
4:What’s something you really want right now? I want to figure out my life. I want to figure out what I want to do in life and figure out if the boy I love is ever going to be ready again.
5:Are you afraid of falling in love? I think I'm afraid of falling in love again. Falling in love with someone new.
6:Do you like the beach? Yes I do but I don't really go very often. I am more of a beach in a foreign country where I am never going to see people again so they won't be able to judge my body the way I judge it.
7:Have you ever slept on a couch with someone else? Have you ever drank alcohol? Of course I have slept on a couch with someone else.
8:What’s the background on your cell? My background says, "Unless it is mad, passionate, extraordinary love it is a waste of time. There are too many mediocre things in life. Love should not be one of them." and my lock screen says "There are far better things ahead than anything we leave behind" by C.S. Lewis.
9:Name the last four beds you were sat on? My bed now, my bed in Calgary, my sister's bed, I don't even know.
10:Do you like your phone? Kind of. I just got a new one and it's just not what I'm totally used to. In a month I'm sure it will be fine.
11:Honestly, are things going the way you planned? I planned to be married and successful at 22 probably thinking about kids. No, things are absolutely NOT going the way I planned. And NO I am absolutely NOT upset about that. At this point, it is what it is.
12:Who was the last person whose phone number you added to your contacts? My sister's friend Redmond. She's a ridiculous human being but she is a BLAST.
13:Would you rather have a poodle or a Rottweiler? A Rotty. We used to have one. And my sister has had 3. They are wonderful creatures. I miss Tank. He totally thought he was a lap dog and I had to run and jump into bed before he did or it was no covers and not moving for this girl.
14:Which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain? I think that persistent pain is the worst kind. I have never had persistent physical pain. I mean a few weeks maybe but some people endure chronic physical pain so I have to imagine that'd be pretty terrible. For me, emotional pain has cut a whole lot deeper than anything I've experienced physically.
15:Would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum? It depends. I like the zoo but I don't like the premise of it. I love zoo lights. I want to get engaged at zoo lights (random, I know. There's a story). Museums can be absolutely incredible though. I am pretty lucky to have been to some of the ones I have.
16:Are you tired? Yes, I'm exhausted. Parent/ teacher interviews the last two days are exhausting.
17:How long have you known your 1st phone contact? AM. I have known him since grade 10 so about 8 years (oh my gosh that feels old). He's a sweetheart. I love him dearly.
18:Are they a relative? No, but he plays lacrosse with my cousin.
19:Would you ever consider getting back together with any of your exes? Absolutely.
20:When did you last talk to the last person you shared a kiss with? Months ago.
21:If you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today? I am not in a place where I can commit to anything for the rest of my life. I come from a divorced family. I intend to be married once, only once and for it to last forever. So, no I wouldn't get married today no matter how much I loved him.
22:Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? Sober, absolutely. Drunk, no way Jose.
23:How many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now? Zero.
24:Is there a certain quote you live by? "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference".
25:What’s on your mind? I've been talking to S about love and relationships. So love, naturally. And number twelve of course.
26:Do you have any tattoos? Yes and I love it. I want another one.
27:What is your favorite colour? Purple or blue. And Black. And Grey.
28:Next time you will kiss someone on the lips? Probably a good chance my niece and nephew will kiss my lips in the morning. My nephew is learning to give kisses currently but it's more like a giant open mouth slober on your face type thing. (Attractive, I know).
29:Who are you texting? S, kind of. And DVZ before. I'm thinking now.
30:Think to the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them on a couch? I was so drunk I don't even know the last person I kissed's name.
31:Have you ever had the feeling something bad was going to happen and you were right? More than once, yes.
32:Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to? Yeah, kind of. Not like I used to though.
33:Do you think anyone has feelings for you? No. That's not really a common thing for me. But my grade 7's keep telling me Mr. L does.
34:Has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes? Yes, actually the other day an elderly substitute told me I have incredibly beautiful eyes. I was kind of stunned because they are generic and brown and boring I think but I suppose they have a bit of wisdom and some pain.
35:Say the last person you kissed was kissing someone right in front of you? I would probably laugh and say, what's your name again?
36:Were you single on Valentines Day? Yes. I hate Valentine's Day.
37:Are you friends with the last person you kissed? No.
38:What do your friends call you? B. Bridge. Brunklyn. Baby baxt... The list goes on.
39:Has anyone upset you in the last week? Yeah a teacher told a kid he was dumb at interviews. I really don't believe in anyone being stupid so I was kind of upset about it.
40:Have you ever cried over a text? Uh have you been 15? Of course I have.
41:Where’s your last bruise located? I have no idea. I bruise easily.
42:What is it from? Likely the gym.
43:Last time you wanted to be away from somewhere really bad? I don't honestly know the answer to that.
44:Who was the last person you were on the phone with? My sister, I think.
45:Do you have a favourite pair of shoes? I think it depends on the occasion.
46:Do you wear hats if your having a bad hair day? Never, ever.
47:Would you ever go bald if it was the style? No what a stupid thing to do. I think a very specific personality can pull that off. Mine, is not one of them.
48:Do you make supper for your family? In Calg, most nights. I have been cooking for myself for 5 years so it's no big deal.
49:Does your bedroom have a door? Yes, am I like an anomaly?
50:Top 3 web-pages? Blogger, D2L, GMAIL
51:Do you know anyone who hates shopping? Do people actually hate shopping?
52:Does anything on your body hurt? My heart but it's a dulled pain because I am so used to it.
53:Are goodbyes hard for you? I usually skip goodbyes.
54:What was the last beverage you spilled on yourself? Probably coffee, I spill a lot.
55:How is your hair? It's in a ponytail.
56:What do you usually do first in the morning? Go Pee. Then have orange juice and iron.
57:Do you think two people can last forever? Forever is a really long time.
58:Think back to January 2007, were you single? Yes. I think.
59:Green or purple grapes? Green, I don't even like purple grapes.
60:When’s the next time you will give someone a BIG hug? In 3 hours I will be getting giant monster hugs from my munchkins.
61:Do you wish you were somewhere else right now? Not really. But it might be nice if someone else were sitting beside me.
62:When will be the next time you text someone? 10 minutes probably.
63:Where will you be 5 hours from now? At JH's birthday party.
64:What were you doing at 8 this morning? Laying in bed trying to convince myself to get up.
65:This time last year, can you remember who you liked? This time last year I was learning to like myself.
66:Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile? 12. JH. WT. ST.
67:Did you kiss or hug anyone today? Not yet.
68:What was your last thought before you went to bed last night? I miss him.
69:Have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? I don't know, probably yes. That's pretty common in sports.
70:How many windows are open on your computer? 3.
71:How many fingers do you have? 10?
72:What is your ringtone? I prefer vibrate.
73:How old will you be in 5 months? Nearly 23.
74:Where is your Mom right now? She's driving to Calgary.
75:Why aren’t you with the person you were first in love with or almost in love? Well first off, he lives 2000 miles away. That is just one of so many factors including immaturity and loving too deeply, to young.
76:Have you held hands with somebody in the past three days? Uh no, the majority of people I see in a day are between the ages of 12 and 14.
77:Are you friends with the people you were friends with two years ago? Some of them. Not most.
78:Do you remember who you had a crush on in grade 7? RC. That kid was top notch hahaha.
79:Is there anyone you know with the name Mike? A few. MB is my favourite. He's such a nice guy.
80:Have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms? Yes, it is my favourite.
81:How many people have you liked in the past three months? Romantically? None.
82:Has anyone seen you in your underwear in the last 3 days? If men's boxers count then yes, mom.
83:Will you talk to the person you like tonight? No because I don't like anybody. But it might be awkward to see RD tonight at TH's birthday.
84:You’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with? S. B and T and R and D (this has happened). Or the Leth crew.
85:If your BF/GF was into drugs would you care? Yes, it's one thing to try some drugs once in awhile but we're getting to the age where that's really not cool.
86:What was the most eventful thing that happened last time you went to see a movie? I don't even know the last movie I went to.
87:Who was your last received call from? Dad.
88:If someone gave you $1,000 to burn a butterfly over a candle, would you? Uh, who burns a butterfly alive? What the fuck.
89:What is something you wish you had more of? Sureness. Time. Money.
90:Have you ever trusted someone too much? Yes, but I've learned my lesson.
91:Do you sleep with your window open? In Calg I don't have a window. It's awful it's so hot in my room.
92:Do you get along with girls? Yeah I have learned how important it is to have good girlfriends.
93:Are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth? I don't know. Myself maybe.
94:Does sex mean love? Not always. But I have chosen to change my actions so that sex involves feelings.
95:You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem? Probably.
96:Have you ever kissed anyone with a lip ring? No that's not really my type.
97:Did you sleep alone this week? Always.
98:Everybody has somebody that makes them happy, do you? I think you need to make yourself happy before anyone else can make you happy. It's much healthier.
99:Do you believe in love at first sight? Have you ever had a nephew, or a niece, or a child? Of course I do.
100:Who was the last person that you pinky promise? Probably my niece last weekend. I promised her a balloon because she lost hers.
2:Think of the last person who hurt you; do you forgive them? Yeah, I have learned not forgiving people usually hurts you more than them.
3:What do you think of when you hear the word “meow?” I hate cats. I actually am mildly terrified of them.
4:What’s something you really want right now? I want to figure out my life. I want to figure out what I want to do in life and figure out if the boy I love is ever going to be ready again.
5:Are you afraid of falling in love? I think I'm afraid of falling in love again. Falling in love with someone new.
6:Do you like the beach? Yes I do but I don't really go very often. I am more of a beach in a foreign country where I am never going to see people again so they won't be able to judge my body the way I judge it.
7:Have you ever slept on a couch with someone else? Have you ever drank alcohol? Of course I have slept on a couch with someone else.
8:What’s the background on your cell? My background says, "Unless it is mad, passionate, extraordinary love it is a waste of time. There are too many mediocre things in life. Love should not be one of them." and my lock screen says "There are far better things ahead than anything we leave behind" by C.S. Lewis.
9:Name the last four beds you were sat on? My bed now, my bed in Calgary, my sister's bed, I don't even know.
10:Do you like your phone? Kind of. I just got a new one and it's just not what I'm totally used to. In a month I'm sure it will be fine.
11:Honestly, are things going the way you planned? I planned to be married and successful at 22 probably thinking about kids. No, things are absolutely NOT going the way I planned. And NO I am absolutely NOT upset about that. At this point, it is what it is.
12:Who was the last person whose phone number you added to your contacts? My sister's friend Redmond. She's a ridiculous human being but she is a BLAST.
13:Would you rather have a poodle or a Rottweiler? A Rotty. We used to have one. And my sister has had 3. They are wonderful creatures. I miss Tank. He totally thought he was a lap dog and I had to run and jump into bed before he did or it was no covers and not moving for this girl.
14:Which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain? I think that persistent pain is the worst kind. I have never had persistent physical pain. I mean a few weeks maybe but some people endure chronic physical pain so I have to imagine that'd be pretty terrible. For me, emotional pain has cut a whole lot deeper than anything I've experienced physically.
15:Would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum? It depends. I like the zoo but I don't like the premise of it. I love zoo lights. I want to get engaged at zoo lights (random, I know. There's a story). Museums can be absolutely incredible though. I am pretty lucky to have been to some of the ones I have.
16:Are you tired? Yes, I'm exhausted. Parent/ teacher interviews the last two days are exhausting.
17:How long have you known your 1st phone contact? AM. I have known him since grade 10 so about 8 years (oh my gosh that feels old). He's a sweetheart. I love him dearly.
18:Are they a relative? No, but he plays lacrosse with my cousin.
19:Would you ever consider getting back together with any of your exes? Absolutely.
20:When did you last talk to the last person you shared a kiss with? Months ago.
21:If you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today? I am not in a place where I can commit to anything for the rest of my life. I come from a divorced family. I intend to be married once, only once and for it to last forever. So, no I wouldn't get married today no matter how much I loved him.
22:Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? Sober, absolutely. Drunk, no way Jose.
23:How many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now? Zero.
24:Is there a certain quote you live by? "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference".
25:What’s on your mind? I've been talking to S about love and relationships. So love, naturally. And number twelve of course.
26:Do you have any tattoos? Yes and I love it. I want another one.
27:What is your favorite colour? Purple or blue. And Black. And Grey.
28:Next time you will kiss someone on the lips? Probably a good chance my niece and nephew will kiss my lips in the morning. My nephew is learning to give kisses currently but it's more like a giant open mouth slober on your face type thing. (Attractive, I know).
29:Who are you texting? S, kind of. And DVZ before. I'm thinking now.
30:Think to the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them on a couch? I was so drunk I don't even know the last person I kissed's name.
31:Have you ever had the feeling something bad was going to happen and you were right? More than once, yes.
32:Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to? Yeah, kind of. Not like I used to though.
33:Do you think anyone has feelings for you? No. That's not really a common thing for me. But my grade 7's keep telling me Mr. L does.
34:Has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes? Yes, actually the other day an elderly substitute told me I have incredibly beautiful eyes. I was kind of stunned because they are generic and brown and boring I think but I suppose they have a bit of wisdom and some pain.
35:Say the last person you kissed was kissing someone right in front of you? I would probably laugh and say, what's your name again?
36:Were you single on Valentines Day? Yes. I hate Valentine's Day.
37:Are you friends with the last person you kissed? No.
38:What do your friends call you? B. Bridge. Brunklyn. Baby baxt... The list goes on.
39:Has anyone upset you in the last week? Yeah a teacher told a kid he was dumb at interviews. I really don't believe in anyone being stupid so I was kind of upset about it.
40:Have you ever cried over a text? Uh have you been 15? Of course I have.
41:Where’s your last bruise located? I have no idea. I bruise easily.
42:What is it from? Likely the gym.
43:Last time you wanted to be away from somewhere really bad? I don't honestly know the answer to that.
44:Who was the last person you were on the phone with? My sister, I think.
45:Do you have a favourite pair of shoes? I think it depends on the occasion.
46:Do you wear hats if your having a bad hair day? Never, ever.
47:Would you ever go bald if it was the style? No what a stupid thing to do. I think a very specific personality can pull that off. Mine, is not one of them.
48:Do you make supper for your family? In Calg, most nights. I have been cooking for myself for 5 years so it's no big deal.
49:Does your bedroom have a door? Yes, am I like an anomaly?
50:Top 3 web-pages? Blogger, D2L, GMAIL
51:Do you know anyone who hates shopping? Do people actually hate shopping?
52:Does anything on your body hurt? My heart but it's a dulled pain because I am so used to it.
53:Are goodbyes hard for you? I usually skip goodbyes.
54:What was the last beverage you spilled on yourself? Probably coffee, I spill a lot.
55:How is your hair? It's in a ponytail.
56:What do you usually do first in the morning? Go Pee. Then have orange juice and iron.
57:Do you think two people can last forever? Forever is a really long time.
58:Think back to January 2007, were you single? Yes. I think.
59:Green or purple grapes? Green, I don't even like purple grapes.
60:When’s the next time you will give someone a BIG hug? In 3 hours I will be getting giant monster hugs from my munchkins.
61:Do you wish you were somewhere else right now? Not really. But it might be nice if someone else were sitting beside me.
62:When will be the next time you text someone? 10 minutes probably.
63:Where will you be 5 hours from now? At JH's birthday party.
64:What were you doing at 8 this morning? Laying in bed trying to convince myself to get up.
65:This time last year, can you remember who you liked? This time last year I was learning to like myself.
66:Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile? 12. JH. WT. ST.
67:Did you kiss or hug anyone today? Not yet.
68:What was your last thought before you went to bed last night? I miss him.
69:Have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? I don't know, probably yes. That's pretty common in sports.
70:How many windows are open on your computer? 3.
71:How many fingers do you have? 10?
72:What is your ringtone? I prefer vibrate.
73:How old will you be in 5 months? Nearly 23.
74:Where is your Mom right now? She's driving to Calgary.
75:Why aren’t you with the person you were first in love with or almost in love? Well first off, he lives 2000 miles away. That is just one of so many factors including immaturity and loving too deeply, to young.
76:Have you held hands with somebody in the past three days? Uh no, the majority of people I see in a day are between the ages of 12 and 14.
77:Are you friends with the people you were friends with two years ago? Some of them. Not most.
78:Do you remember who you had a crush on in grade 7? RC. That kid was top notch hahaha.
79:Is there anyone you know with the name Mike? A few. MB is my favourite. He's such a nice guy.
80:Have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms? Yes, it is my favourite.
81:How many people have you liked in the past three months? Romantically? None.
82:Has anyone seen you in your underwear in the last 3 days? If men's boxers count then yes, mom.
83:Will you talk to the person you like tonight? No because I don't like anybody. But it might be awkward to see RD tonight at TH's birthday.
84:You’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with? S. B and T and R and D (this has happened). Or the Leth crew.
85:If your BF/GF was into drugs would you care? Yes, it's one thing to try some drugs once in awhile but we're getting to the age where that's really not cool.
86:What was the most eventful thing that happened last time you went to see a movie? I don't even know the last movie I went to.
87:Who was your last received call from? Dad.
88:If someone gave you $1,000 to burn a butterfly over a candle, would you? Uh, who burns a butterfly alive? What the fuck.
89:What is something you wish you had more of? Sureness. Time. Money.
90:Have you ever trusted someone too much? Yes, but I've learned my lesson.
91:Do you sleep with your window open? In Calg I don't have a window. It's awful it's so hot in my room.
92:Do you get along with girls? Yeah I have learned how important it is to have good girlfriends.
93:Are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth? I don't know. Myself maybe.
94:Does sex mean love? Not always. But I have chosen to change my actions so that sex involves feelings.
95:You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem? Probably.
96:Have you ever kissed anyone with a lip ring? No that's not really my type.
97:Did you sleep alone this week? Always.
98:Everybody has somebody that makes them happy, do you? I think you need to make yourself happy before anyone else can make you happy. It's much healthier.
99:Do you believe in love at first sight? Have you ever had a nephew, or a niece, or a child? Of course I do.
100:Who was the last person that you pinky promise? Probably my niece last weekend. I promised her a balloon because she lost hers.
Tuesday, March 11, 2014
Monday, March 10, 2014
Yaay
I just realized I have all the photos from my phone so I am so happy that I didn't lost all my photos of my niece and nephews.
Thursday, March 6, 2014
Sorry, not sorry.
I'm gonna be real here. Bullet and hockey night in Canada is good shit. #puckslutproblems
Tuesday, March 4, 2014
Even the best fall down sometimes.
Out of the doubt that fills my mind, you somehow find you and I collide.
dying here.
Living with a parent is actually HELL. Like I am so flustered. It's been just over two months and I am shocked it's taken this long for me to get super frustrated. I think once you move out for 5 years that's the problem. It's stupid little things that drive me mental. Only a few more months. THANK FUCK.
Sunday, March 2, 2014
The value of words.
Somehow, it still surprises me when I read something I wrote and it's inspiring. It's beautiful. It's worth something to someone.
Saturday, March 1, 2014
Friday, February 28, 2014
Funny, he's a taurus.
On another note, I find him incredibly attractive but in a very unconventional, not-my-usual-type-kind of way.
Our friends were laughing, 'cause nothing like this ever happened to them.
Sometimes I'm just lonely. I want to be with someone. I want someone to sit beside me and tell me he loves me. I want him to stare at me for now reason. I want him to just lay next to me doing nothing at all.
I don't want to be this girl though. I don't let people know that I feel this way sometimes. I don't let them know that I'm lonely. I don't ever want to be that girl. I don't have the courage to text my friends and tell them that I really miss him. I don't know if it's even courage. I don't want them to be annoyed by me. I don't want them to say, "I know. It will get better. I don't know what to tell you."
It's been nearly 4 years. It's not going to get better. I sound condescending. I sound naive. They just don't understand. They have never felt like this.
I think that's what makes everything with number twelve so difficult for me; so exhausting. Most people my age, they don't understand it. I have been saying for nearly 6 years that I love him in a way that I cannot explain. And I know, cue stupid girl eye roll. I would do the same. I just cannot explain it. I have tried repeatedly to put it into words to make sense so that somebody can convince me that I am not absolutely bat shit fucking crazy.
I love him. I am so incredibly in love with him. I long for him every single day.
They say that it gets easier. It hasn't.
They say that the last person you think about before you fall asleep is the one that you truly love. It's him.
They say if you love two people at once, choose the second because if you really loved the first you would have never fallen in love with the second one. I thought I loved sunshine when I fell for number twelve. It was different.
Since number twelve, the thought of loving another man is excruciating to me. It's not a risk I even want to take. It would be a waste of time because I would never really be able to love them the way that I want to love the man that I marry.
Sometimes my friends encourage me to find someone new and they push me towards other people. I think it's weird to be alone sometimes so I tell them I'm not ready. It's not just that. I would hurt a boy who fell in love with me. I would break him. I don't want to get involved with another man for fear that he might fall in love with me. And if he did, I would inevitably break him. Not on purpose of course, but because he isn't number twelve.
I don't want to be this girl though. I don't let people know that I feel this way sometimes. I don't let them know that I'm lonely. I don't ever want to be that girl. I don't have the courage to text my friends and tell them that I really miss him. I don't know if it's even courage. I don't want them to be annoyed by me. I don't want them to say, "I know. It will get better. I don't know what to tell you."
It's been nearly 4 years. It's not going to get better. I sound condescending. I sound naive. They just don't understand. They have never felt like this.
I think that's what makes everything with number twelve so difficult for me; so exhausting. Most people my age, they don't understand it. I have been saying for nearly 6 years that I love him in a way that I cannot explain. And I know, cue stupid girl eye roll. I would do the same. I just cannot explain it. I have tried repeatedly to put it into words to make sense so that somebody can convince me that I am not absolutely bat shit fucking crazy.
I love him. I am so incredibly in love with him. I long for him every single day.
They say that it gets easier. It hasn't.
They say that the last person you think about before you fall asleep is the one that you truly love. It's him.
They say if you love two people at once, choose the second because if you really loved the first you would have never fallen in love with the second one. I thought I loved sunshine when I fell for number twelve. It was different.
Since number twelve, the thought of loving another man is excruciating to me. It's not a risk I even want to take. It would be a waste of time because I would never really be able to love them the way that I want to love the man that I marry.
Sometimes my friends encourage me to find someone new and they push me towards other people. I think it's weird to be alone sometimes so I tell them I'm not ready. It's not just that. I would hurt a boy who fell in love with me. I would break him. I don't want to get involved with another man for fear that he might fall in love with me. And if he did, I would inevitably break him. Not on purpose of course, but because he isn't number twelve.
Thursday, February 27, 2014
It's the first kiss, it's flawless, really something, it's fearless.
You're just so cool, run your hands through your hair; absent-mindedly making me want you.
Wednesday, February 26, 2014
So fucked.
I think it is so fucked up that advertisements for Sims Furniture keeps popping up on my facebook. Like WHAT THE FUCK.
Sunday, February 23, 2014
1600km.
Do you think it's possible to start over completely? Like can people really change. I wonder sometimes if we just are who we are and that's the end of it. I mean do we really get do-overs or do the choices we make define who we are for the rest of our life?
If only we were really free.
"You left. This is your chance for a fresh start. It is what you've wanted for two and a half years. I didn't want to interfere with that."
"Ah, I see. Well now that we're both free, how are you?"
"Ah, I see. Well now that we're both free, how are you?"
I'm actually nuts.
I know how crazy I sound. I know how illogical, ridiculous, naive, pathetic, stupid, [insert string of adjectives] I am. I still believe. I know people talk about when you know, you know. I always wonder to myself if I am just this crazy girl who is delusional in my own mind about him. There is just this part of me that tells me he's the one. A piece of me that tells myself not to give up. I cannot put it into words because there are no words for the way that I love him. And that's the kind of love I want. There's a saying, "unless it is mad, passionate, extraordinary love it is a waste of time. There are too many mediocre things in life, love should not be one of them." And that is exactly what our love is. Our love is FUCKING CRAZY.
In so many ways though we are so incredibly suited for one another. We believe strongly in a healthy, active lifestyle. We believe in financial responsibility. We challenge one another, every day. He is my best friend and that is the boy that I want to marry. He understands me in a way that words cannot describe.
It would be a relationship with many fights, arguments, hugs, smiles, laughter, tears, cuddling, kindness, respect, trust, love.
In so many ways though we are so incredibly suited for one another. We believe strongly in a healthy, active lifestyle. We believe in financial responsibility. We challenge one another, every day. He is my best friend and that is the boy that I want to marry. He understands me in a way that words cannot describe.
It would be a relationship with many fights, arguments, hugs, smiles, laughter, tears, cuddling, kindness, respect, trust, love.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)