We make a really good team coach.

Sometimes I want to ask him why he is so good to me. But I'm afraid. I shouldn't be because he will probably say something along the lines of "you deserve it" or "it's just what I do". He is so incredibly good to me. I know that I deserve to be treated well and that I treat others well but at some point, I just want someone to love me back. That's the hardest part. One of these times I just want someone who is kind to me and tells me I'm beautiful and treats me well to tell me that he loves me. That he wants to be with me. I don't know if D is that person but I wouldn't be disappointed if he was. 

Today was stressful. It was long and exhausting. It was a blast. The kids had fun, I had fun but it was a lot of work. At lunch he said want to go for a drive? I said yessss anywhere. So we drove and he smoked excessively and we got a coffee. All afternoon I felt like I smelled like smoke even after I sprayed perfume. All my life I've thought it's the biggest turn off but for some reason, it doesn't really bother me when he does. After school we were sitting in his vehicle and he said something and I was like please can you do it for me, for alllll the things I do for you? And he's like hey hey I get you back. I always make sure what you do for me doesn't go unnoticed. And he does. So we're joking about today and dumb stuff and he said good job today. It went well, we make a really good team. "We make a really good team". A part of me went a little weak. We do make a good team and he is so good to me. He's jothing I ever imagined but he is so kind and generous and he makes me laugh. I honestly laugh even when he makes me angry, even when I'm so grumpy, he makes me laugh so hard byes my friend. And it's just nice.