I know that I'm strong. And I know that I will get through this. I know one day I will forget just how difficult each day is. One day the rawness of the sting will dissipate. I know it could be worse and I should be grateful. I know that in the grand scheme of my life, this will one day be a bad memory that taught me a lot. I know I will be better and stronger from this. I know all that. But right now it doesn't feel that way. It just weighs on me. All the time. I have moments in days of normalcy and then I go right back to the heavy force of the unknown. I feel lost and helpless and fraudulent. That's the worst part I think. Fraudulent.
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