I don't know if I've ever fully understood something number 12 said to be years ago until just moments ago. I remember bawling one night. I was heartbroken because he said I can't be with you. You just don't get it. I don't want to be with anyone else. If I were going to be with someone, it would be you. And I didn't. Not until now.
Do you think it's possible to not want to be with anyone else but to be unready to be with someone? I wonder if all this time, I've been the problem in the J situation. Am I the one sending mixed signals? Am I the one in between us? Keeping him at arm's length?
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