Sunday, January 4, 2015

I want your brilliant mind and your beautiful heart.

I was hurt that he had just stopped texting me the other night. I didn't want to admit it but I was. I was really sad he just abruptly stopped mid-conversation. I was feeling really sad about it the last few days because when I was at ME's house I had a big conversation with both TT and CL about J.
TT was like B, you light up when you talk about him and from the sounds of it, he has feelings for you. There is absolutely something there. TT loves ME and it is so clear and she just isn't ready. And I get that. TT and I talked about how it will be worth the wait. Both ME and I are getting used to the way that a real man treats a woman. And I just mean little things that are really big things like reminding you of your value, building you up all the time, etc.
TT was basically like B think about the stuff he does for you. He has no reason to do that for you as an employee no matter how many hours you've worked for him or how much you help him out at work. That's a completely different entity.
One thing we talked about that I've been thinking about is how J is established and I'm not and that could be another reason he's holding off, especially as someone who is AS established and wealthy as  he is. I mean it really makes sense because I am just starting out. And I know that J knows I don't have feelings for him because he has money. He knows that my intentions have absolutely nothing to do with his money. But I can see how he'd want to know how I function completely on my own. How I will establish myself as an adult, if that makes sense. And I actually really respect that in a way because I want to be able to do it on my own. I want to set up my life before him. I want him to know without a single doubt that his money is a bonus and that what I really want his heart and his brain.

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