How do you become a serial relationship enthusiast? I don't understand it. There are so many people who date person after person after person for extended periods of time each and I cannot wrap my head around it. Like the concept of getting into a relationship is daunting to me. After 6 years of on and off and the amount of myself I gave to number twelve in that time. I cannot imagine doing that 3 times to 3 different people in that six years. Officially, we've been broken up for 3 and a half years. When that happened and since then, the concept of another relationship scares the hell out of me. That is such a large piece of yourself to give someone. How do you split that between 3 or 4 or 6 people. It just blows me away completely.
It sounds awful to me. And maybe this is a product of my environment and my life and media and society and all the other things we blame on the world but I think giving your body away to someone is a lot easier that giving your heart and soul to someone. There are some choices I wish I hadn't have made drunk, choices that ultimately changed me in a way I could not foresee at the time. Giving someone your body is easy and can be done with just the wrong (or right depending how you view it) combination of substances. Giving someone your heart requires the conscious decision to be vulnerable. While I don't think loving someone is in our control, I absolutely think that allowing yourself to open up to someone completely, allowing someone to be able to break you is a much more personal and a much more difficult thing to do.
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