repeating history and you're getting sick of it.

I know I've said it before. And I'll probably say it again ut I want to try for real this time. I have to be strong and move on with my life and I think my brain is finally getting through to my heart. My guts have been right alllllll along. (again, trust guts not brain or heart). But anyways, I just really need to move on from the whole number twelve situation. We got in another fight yesterday shocker. But some of the things he said were just horrible. Like I had such a bad day yesterday.
I woke up a bit late and I got to tim's too late to actually get something but as I pulled into the parking lot this guy was backing up and I thought he didn't see me so I honked so he wouldn't hit me. Then when I got out of my vehicle he opened his window and started yelling at me how I was a dumb bitch and a slut and a fat whore etc. And I was just like bud FUCK off. Like how old are you that you say shit like that to a 19 year old girl. Then I went inside but the line was too long so I came outside and he opened his window again and yelled at me some more. Now I know he is just a dumb prick but it really got to me for some reason and it kind of threw my whole day off.
Then number twelve said some stupid shit about how his real friends are there for him and he's soooo happy and blah blah blah. And I just kind of snapped. I called bullshit on him for how he just lies and his pride gets the best of him. Like I told him to figure out his priorities instead of his parents and that he shuold make time for himself all the while reminding him that I only have his best interest at heart then he said some other rude things and I was just like what the fuck is your deal bud? Like do you get some sort of pleasure out of hurting me? Does it make you feel good to know I'm hurting? I then spazed the fuck out and reminded him that yes I fucked up one night (emphasizing the ONE part) and yes I admit it was a big mistake and I know that that is the reason we are no longer together but I have  also spent the last 11 months going out of my way to show him how sorry I am, how much I regret that decision and to be extremely supportive of him. So I asked him why he has to go out of his way on a regualr basis to hurt me, purposely. (He never answered my question). So then he just made some comment about how he can't hurt me when we don't talk and I was like oh really? Hm.. that's funny you should ask your best friend, his little brother, your neighbour or your sister or really any person in the whole damn world that knows me if it doesn't hurt me. Like for reals, fuck you.
I am so angry with him. I have been holding on because I love him and in my opinion when you love someone, you love them unconditionally. And I will continue to love him but I will not be pining for him anymroe because it is just horseshit. If you don't want to be with me, I don't want to be with you. I do not deserve to be treated like this and I am so tired of feeling weak and pathetic and alone. I am moving on.