and you told me you weren't like that anymore

you didn't change, you pretended to change for me. you knew the 'sleeping around' thing just wasn't my thing. you knew if i thought you were a slut i wouldn't even consider it. i wouldn't consider you. at all. so you stopped. for like a year. for me. and somehow i feel responsible. it's not my fault, i'm just glad i know the truth now. i'm sorry you felt like you had to change for me. you didn't. i really liked you for you. i just couldn't commit. and it was awful. i couldn't just let go of something silly from my past to enjoy being with you. and i almost regret it now. almost. but it wasn't meant to be. what i wonder is how much i screwed you up. i mean, he screwed me up and i knew that; yet i screwed you up. i mean you slept with a random girl while you were "dating" someone else. a silly long distance realtionship i might add but a relationship at that. that's just not you. not the you i knew anyways. it's hard for me to believe. it actually made me nauseaus. that's just nto a cool thing to do. first of all sleeping with a random girl is disgusting, let alone while you have a girlfriend. you couldn't just tell her you didn't want that? i mean i only kissed soemone else and i still feel bad some days, okay so he was your best friend and that was a shady thing to do, but i still felt awful. i still do. it was just a silly thing to do. and you were really hurt. i mean i tried to tell you and not ruin your friendship of years but it just never happened. and even though i never straight up said i kissed him, you knew. you knew and you told people you knew. which is really sucky. but you cheated on her. you slept with a random girl. you were dating. i just can't believe it. i don't want to believe it. but unfortunately, it's true.