so i was going to talk to him and then i changed my mind because i realized 1:15 am isn't the best time when you're gonna be up at 6. so i told him not to worry, and of course he's like no no you have to tell me now. and i'm like you know i think i'm okay, i just have been all over the place and our of it and lack of sleep and i'm stressed out and over analyzing. he's like well are you sure, i mean you know you can always talk to me.
i couldn't answer. i wanted to be like no, that's the problem. it's not fair for you to say that. to be like you know i'm always here, i'll do anything. you're not really here though. the days i just need to lay in your arms to just feel safe, to feel like everything's okay. i can't drive the 2 minutes to your house to do that anymore. i can't call you and say babe, i need a hug and know you'll be there as soons as you can to give me a hug.
i just hate that i'm doing this again. falling back into this. i don't want a long distance relationship. i don't want to only get to see you every so often. i don't want to wonder what you're doing with other girls. i don't want to wonder how long it'll be until i can see you, until i can lay in your arms. i just want you to be here. mine. i want you.
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