Be positive and cherish everything.

Today I met TBM to talk. We just sat at the B&F and talked for like 45 minutes. It was really nice. We talked about mom and how he coped with his mom's situation. He told me how it started in 1999 and then she went into remission for 10 years and then I already knew the next time it was a long (nearly 5 year process) from there. It's a very similar situation to my mom. T told me he was best friends with her and it was tough and he still has days where he picks up his phone to call her before realizing he can't. He also had her thumbprint made into a gold pendant which I think is incredible.
He was so understanding and kind and I appreciate the things he told me. As shitty as it is, he basically said B unfortunately, this is life and it's going to happen at some point. And even if you're not ready and you feel too young and that it's unfair, it's really not up to you.
I think I needed his honesty. J is so much more concerned about my feelings that the cold, hard truth. And I think that's why I really needed to speak to T about it this time. I have had a really tough week emotionally. I am concerned about mom, I think she's getting worse again. I think she's pushing herself too hard and it scares me. I told T, I prepared myself for my mom to die. I was ready for it, I had accepted it as much as you can accept losing the person you love most in the world. And then she got better. And now I think she's getting worse. And it's the emotional roller coaster that's killing me right now.
He reminded me that it's so important to be positive without being in denial of the situation. He reminded me that this is entirely out of my control and that I have to rely on my faith. I have to believe that when it happens, she's going to a better place. And his mom was incredibly religious and made it easy on them. He reminded me to cherish every single moment. To save voicemails, take videos and really immerse myself in her love while I can.
It scares me because he's right.

He changed the subject after. He talked about work and asked me about life and just talked to me. He asked my opinion on menu items and genuinely appreciates my input. He asked about life and we just talked about things. We joked about girls and I showed him a funny video and picture. Before I left he reminded me to be positive and cherish everything.
I feel really blessed to have him and J in my life.
I am grateful to God every single day for guiding me to them when I needed them most.