every once in a while.

every once in awhile he reminds me that i'm his best friend. today was one of those days. big brother and his gf broke up. ironically they broke up right after i began actually becoming fond of her. she's got a good heart. today he talked to me about it all because he knew she had been and he knew i'd make sure she was okay and reassure him that he's okay. he needed to hear the girls side of it, the way a girl feels when you break up with someone you love.
boys don't understand that girls and boys can't be best friends right after you break up. and he told me that's what he wants for right now, to be friends. because he still wants her in his life, he's just not ready to be with her right now. he also told me that he can see himself spending the better part of his life with her. i told him it's not fair to let her hold on to those words, the 'i love you' and 'some day'. i told him i am going to encourage her to move on because false reassurance does nothing for nobody. false reassurance from everyone else is what kept me kicking around for three years for sunshine.

sometime through our conversation about friends he said thank you. thank you for shooting me down almost 3 years ago and just being my best friend. i'm so glad we never dated b, so glad. i reminded him that i had to do that and that i love him with my whole heart, i do, i just don't want to be with him and i didn't want to lose that friendship. ironically after i shot him down, we stopped being friends for a year and a half. but once him and her broke up, we were best friends again, just like that. in like a month and a half because we were best friends. i think that time let him move past the 'i want to date you b' thing so that we could get to where we are today. he reminded me that we can support each other and love each other to death without having to know every single detail of the other person's life. and that's a pretty good feeling.

it's really nice to know he still sees it. and he likes to remind me of it, somehow when i need to hear it the most; every once in awhile.