i'm pretty sure that i knew all along he didn't do it. but in a way i kind of wanted to believe he did. i'm always trying to sabotage my happiness because then i can't get hurt. if i ruin it, no one else can. and that just seems so much easier than giving someone else the power to break your heart. and i think that i wanted to believe it's not real and we shouldn't see how it could be because there are so many things to go wrong. and today dragon was like no, you're hurting yourself. every time you push him away the two of you are just breaking your own hearts. not giving it a chance is just breaking your hearts because you both want to know what it could be like because you believe it could really be great.
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