here's to silence that cuts me to the core.

we decided relationships are silly, and both completely agreed. but of course the conversation couldn't end there. so we kept talking. first he defended himself; you know if i actually cared about a girl or was in a real relationship, i wouldn't cheat on her. i'd be entirely faithful. and of course i know it's true. if he was really into a girl, he would treat her amazingly and cheating wouldn't cross his mind. it didn't cross his mind. he then continued the conversation reminding me that i have to put myself out there, i have to say what i really want. he then tried to argue with me, knowing that he was right and brought up the fact that i keep everything inside and never tell anyone. of course he'd keep talking and he said that the idea of seeing someone is so much better. not only do you avoid the label "relationship" and the ones that go with it such as "girlfriend, boyfriend, ball and chain, wife, douchebag, prick," but you also can be together without things changing. you can commit to someone that's far away because you truly care about them and you want to be with them. and that's enough, you shouldn't have to change. you can just hang out and do what you want. you care about the person, that should be enough. nothing else should matter. but it all starts with actually telling the person you care. it's that simple.
and i said nothing. silence.
he gave me the opportunity to have exactly what i want. to be together, hang out when we can, not hook up with other girls, to essentially be dating without the label and see where it goes. and i never said anything. all i had to say was babe, i'm into you. and i could have had exactly what i want. and i couldn't find any words. silence.
he paused. he knew i wanted to say something, anything. so he wrapped his arms around me again and held me so tight i never thought he'd let go.