you know, i looked through those pictures today, the japan ones. and i realized something. it's finally okay for me to let it go. i mean really let it go, because i didn't ruin it. i always tried to fix it. momma b liked me and i really liked her, and she knows that i meant something to you. but when i am myself i'm not going to ever fit into your family. like meeting the whole family, being introduced to jdub and j and grams and gramps and the little ones, i mean it just isn't who i am. j doesn't even seem like she likes her life, she just got the rich husband and the financial security, maybe i'm wrong and she's really happy, but it never seemed that way to me. and your grandpa, well being introduced as the infamous bb is not really the way i like to be introduced, the response as ohhhh so yourrr bb doesn't really give me a good feeling.
i looked through those pictures and i realized it's okay. i realized i can let all of it go. i can let it go because i know that i was happy, you were happy, we were happy. genuinely happy when it was you and me. and that's all i need. i can let it go because i said i love you and i have nothing to regret. i said it and i meant it. but now i can move on without wondering what oculd of been. because it was, it was great. i loved you and i showed you and told you. and now now its done.
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