Oh life.

I'm in a funny space right now. There is an overwhelming amount on my mind and nothing on my mind at the same time. I have so many things I want to do in my life. I am thinking of getting two jobs for the summer while I'm going to school. I know I sound absolutely crazy. I am just looking forward to being in Leth I think because no one is here so I have the opportunity to really work on myself. 

I am looking forward to being healthy and I'm looking into maybe taking a yoga class or something just for me. I think that's something I really lack in my life here, something just for me. 

I am looking for another job because I don't think that I can spend all summer at Moxie's. I don't want to be miserable all summer. I want to work somewhere that I enjoy. I want to be happy when I go to work. 

I am looking forward to school. I think my classes will be good haha one is an English Poetry class which I'm pretty nervous about but I love the prof so that's the most important part. I am also looking at taking two online classes which would be ideal because then I could get rid of one of my classes which would provide a more open availability and make my fall easier. 

I think there's just so much going on with everything in the last week. I think everything with BB's funeral and seeing all those people. I also am in a very weird place after visiting number twelve on Thursday night. I am just kind of over being treated like this. I think I am going to send him his box of letters and sweater and just tell him that I just cannot be involved at all unless he wants to be completely involved. I cannot and will not do the half assed bullshit anymore. I'm just at the point where I'm not giving up, I just don't have anything left to give. He has everything and I just don't know what else to do but to completely release where I stand and leave it up to him to pursue if he wants to leave it forever.