Love me, please.

Sometimes I get disheartened. Jealous. I am sad because everyone here is with someone. They have a partner, they're in love. Lonely. That epitomizes how I feel. I wish that I had someone here with me that loved me and wanted to make my life easier.
T didn't come with B because he's away working but she has J. B and C are here with their kids, all my cousins are married except one that I hate. I just wish that someone were here to be with me. I think that the appeal of M is that he was physically next to me. It was a friendship but he was physically near me when I needed him to be.
J is different. I feel for him, strongly. There is an emotional bond there and it frightens me.
Right now I feel so pathetic because I am laying in my bed alone blogging about how lonely I am.
I want someone to love me wholly, unconditionally. That's something I value immensely in a relationship and something I think was lacking in number twelve's love for me. When he realized that I wasn't perfect, he loved me less; or differently at the very least. My love hasn't changed for him and I doubt that it ever will because when I think about sunshine, I still love him too. That's something about me. I love unconditionally. When I love someone, I love all of them, even the ugly parts, especially the ugly parts. I value that type of love because that's how my mother loves. She loves all the way. And it's difficult for me because sometimes it takes me awhile to love, my love grows slowly. But when I love you, I love all of you and I will for the rest of my life. And that's what I want. I want to be loved. I want to fall in love again.