The little things.

I told S tonight that J terrifies me because he makes me feel again. He does thoughtful things for me like saving a chocolate pineapple flower or giving me a white chocolate truffle even though white chocolate is his favourite and it's his birthday. Or getting mad at everybody else for destroying his cake and letting me eat the middle because the fudge is my favourite part. He brought out old photo albums the other night and talks about his mom to me. He's just in such a different place in his life than the boys my age. Like he's currently alone in Mexico in a room with a private pool and he just wants to read for 3 days.
The other day someone guessed he was turning 37 and he turned 29. That's how much he has his life together. He's well dressed and owns 2 businesses and who knows how many properties he has. He values himself and he hides his heart because he gets so emotionally involved in things that matter to him.
I remember him saying the one day about what a restaurant owner makes and if that's true and he's making even close to what he is and still treats others the way he does, then I just don't understand how it would be possible to not be infatuated.
It's not what he has, it's how he treats people who can do nothing for him. It's the intellectual conversations he can have and the ability to simply look at me and make me smile.