Day 2.

On Friday I wore my old Moxie's shirt to work with a skirt and I got so many compliments on how great I looked that day. It was really nice to hear but I was so self-conscious the entire time. One girl said look at you! Damn you look fantastic, why don't you dress like that all the time? And I was just like this is not really who I am. I wasn't [slutty] but I was definitely [slutty] for me.
It's hard for me to realize that boys actually might like how I look. That I might be attractive to them. And I know I'm not like a toad but I always notice everything I hate about myself. And I am working on trying to recognize and appreciate my own value. I think that might be why I really love working for the boys and a huge part of why I am incredibly attracted to J. He builds me up and consistently reminds me of my worth.
T does too but in a different way. Even yesterday T was like B your hair looks great today. And I was like ha thanks? He's like what it does? I'm like yeah I haven't washed it in 4 days. He's like well it's curled and looks good so you put in the effort. And then he sent me to get a Jugo Juice for us and I just was so appreciative that he trusts me as much as he does. And I'm sure that a significant part of his trust for me is how much J trusts me. J is like the pickiest human being in life so I'm sure that T recognizes that if J trusts me completely than it's easy for T to.
I never really realized how picky J was but CG always is like fuck he is so picky. And he is incredibly picky. And I never realized it because right away he knew who I was and he was always nice to me. I guessed I passed his tests early on.