I just have all these crazy unrealistic thoughts in my head but I can't help but think them. I think CG knows I really like J and she makes lots of comments about it but I think she knows I won't admit it because it scares me too much. And I'm terrified of rejection.
I think that's what it is more than anything. I'm just not the girl guys are into. I don't have that "sex appeal". I'm a nerd and a jock and I don't do the girly flirty shit. It's just not who I am. I am not the type of person to initiate a relationship and maybe that's a downfall. Relationships and rejection terrify me. I am so irrationally afraid of not being enough.
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