R.

I met a boy last night that I have a [crush] on. I say [crush] because I mean we hung out for 6 hours let's not go picking out the wedding cake just yet. I don't know. It was so weird because he was so not my type. He isn't a jacked hockey player who is ridiculous and oblivious and immature. He doesn't have dark hair either.
He has these beautiful blue eyes and blonde hair and he's a nurse at the hospital and he's brilliant. He can have an intelligent conversation but still makes fun of people and is funny. He was kind to me. I am probably definitely over-analyzing but he made a few comments and did a few things that were just nice. When I was cold and we were outside he started rubbing my arms to warm me up. And when I put on my slippers after the bar to drive instead of my boots he told me it was adorable that I like to drive in sock feet. He also came back to MV's in my vehicle and when we got there he made sure he sat on the couch with me.
It's so ridiculous and childish and high school giddy but it just feels so nice when boys are nice to you. I cannot explain it to most people because I'm just not like other girls. I know 99.9 percent of girls say "I'm not like other girls" but I'm not. I'm not the girl that guys are attracted to, I'm the girl guys know they want on their side. The girl that will take care of them, be a mom sometimes, always be a friend, tell them the truth, defend them to the ground and have fun doing lame stuff most girls hate like watching hockey or drinking scotch.
I cannot explain that to my sister or my friends because they are always the girls guys like. My friends are always in relationships or seeing boys. It's funny because everyone relies on me for all their relationship advice and it's like look I've had the most fucked up poisonous relationship for the last 6 years, why the fuck do you want my opinion? I know the answer to that actually. It's 1) because I have literally fucked up my relationship in every way possible and 2) because I'm honest. I look at things from the most objective perspective possible when it pertains to other people and I try to really take into account all participating perspectives.
When it comes to myself I feel like I'm a combination of jaded and cynical and sometimes short-sighted. Or naive. When it comes to my own situations I sometimes miss things, but usually I know what I'm doing even if I know it's wrong.
I guess what I'm saying is sometimes it just feels nice to have boys who are nice to you.