I should have seen it coming. I mean I thought about it for a long time but I never had the balls to delete him. I guess I just always believed in us. I always believed one day we would work things out and it would be okay. I never thought it'd get here. I'm not mad. It's just really real. Six years. Done.
It's absolutely ridiculous that "deleting someone from facebook" makes things final in our day and age. It's pathetic actually. I mean I'm sitting here with tears streaming down my face once again about him. And I hate myself for it. I hate it because I told him to stop talking to me. This was my choice, he just finalized it because he knew I couldn't. I have tried so many times because I know how much pain our relationship has caused me. I know exactly how much I've hurt, exactly how much I've cried. I know everything about us. I still get reminded of him every single day.
I can't explain it. I have wanted some sort of finality for 3 years. I wanted him to tell me he hated me or do something that made me hate him or just end it. I know that he did this because he knows it's best and he knows I couldn't because he knows just how much I love him. I needed this finality so bad. I told him to do this, I told him not to contact me anymore. I should've known. It's real.
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