Don't know if it was you or me, different roads or different dreams.

I saw Sunshine tonight. It was kind of weird because he was with a girlfriend and her parents (I presume). It was just kind of weird because the last time I saw him he was at BB's funeral which wasn't really like hey, let's catch up territory. He used to date BB's girlfriend at the time and his brother almost married BB's sister AB.
At first I was a little taken aback, I think because as my mom put it, at the end of the day whether you dated or not, you were each other's first loves. And I think she has a point. I loved him differently than I loved number twelve but he too will always have a piece of my heart. He taught me a lot about life and who I want to be and a lot about who I don't want to be and the company I don't want to keep.
I still hold him with high regard and I maintain a certain level of respect for him that few people my age have shown me. Anytime I think of him, I think about the wonderful times we had each other and it's easy to not regret that because they really were truly wonderful. We had a lot of fun and a lot of laughs but we also talked for 10 hours straight on a flight to Japan. I think he's the kind of person that helped mould who I am today in mostly positive ways but perhaps he brought out some things in myself I would not like to ever resurface. He brought out an insecurity in me that I never wish to encounter again and some of my attitude that I would never like to project again.
At the end of the day, each and every time I think of him, I hope he's doing well. I hope his life is easy and turning out right and I hope he finds a girl that loves him for who he is, not what his name is, not what he has and not what he can provide for her.