Did I mention that I start school tomorrow? It seems so unbelievably crazy. I am unsure of how I feel. This morning it felt so weird to be in Leth. Now I am feeling pretty good since I cleaned. I think it will be really good for me to be here this summer. I think it's important for me to not be in RD. I think living near number twelve is just a recipe for disaster. I mean I was home for like 3 days that he was home and I ended up staying at his house. That's just not good for my heart. It's not good for my sanity in any way. I love him, I always will but it matters to me that he cares too. And unfortunately, that's why I had to let him go. It was hard giving him back his stuff but I think it's the most important thing for us. I think we both need to stop being in this in between phase.
I think it will be good for me to live here. I think it will establish the living alone and growing up thing I've been looking for for so long. This is the first summer I've never gone home. And it's weird because when I got back to leth last night I was like, it feels soo nice to be home. This is my home now. And that's a really important thing to remember. I have built a life here and I will continue to build a life here.
I will have the opportunity to leave all of the people behind that I want to leave behind. I know that sounds mean but I'm looking at days that I will be taking off and like I just can't take off all these weekends. That's when I work. I need to make money. I have to take off enough time for my sanity with school, I don't have much time to be taking off all these other weekends.
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