Sunny days seem to hurt the most.

I'm seriously just speechless. Like KW used to always be at the E household with us. He was AE's best friend. They were just the younger version of CE and number twelve. I'm just seriously mind blown. And you know, it's amazing because you would never suspect him which is what kills me the most. He was the happiest kid you'd ever imagine.
CE is having a rough day but trying to be strong. AE is probably a disaster but I told him I love him and I'm here and that's all I can do. I mean, if my best friend killed herself, I don't honestly know what I'd do.
It was good TK was here when I found out because I had tears streaming down my face. I am winded. I feel like someone stabbed me. This hits so close to home for me because I was suicidal in high school. And I am so lucky and grateful that I was unsuccessful and that I'm still alive. It gets better. I want to shout in every junior and high school that IT GETS BETTER. I promise. Even on the worst days, and there is going to be some terrible ones, it gets better.
I think that's a huge part of why I am in school for education. And why I want my Masters and PhD. I want to be able to tell kids it gets better. To reach out to them and show them how much better it gets. It's only high school. It's 900 days, out of 1000s. 900 hundred days.
It's not fair and it doesn't make anybody feel better right now. But I just want students to know that it gets better. These are our children, they need to understand. We, the children, the students, we need to be loved. We need to know that there's a reason behind all of this. We need to know that we can take back the terrible things we say or do, the mistakes we make, we can move forward, we can forgive. We have the power to do better, the power to be better. I have the power to be better.

I know that he’d have wanted it to matter, and that’s the most important part. He mattered. He matters. This is a lesson for all of us: to love more, help more, laugh more, cry more, live more.