i know how frustrating it must be to hear me complain about sofa king but it really drives me up the wall. today we had the longest, funniest most entertaining conversation imaginable. like actually. like nothing was off limits.
it's hard to hear him be like come home please, and we need to hang out and i miss you. i told him lots about number 12 today. he didn't know it was number 12 but he knew it was someone. i told him i don't feel any butterflies, and i don't. and i know it's really wrong to keep him around like i am but i'm just not sure i can be alone right now. and that really scares me because i have always been the independant girl who doesn't need anyone. i guess it's cause i always had sunshine. he was always there for me no matter what. i have been thinking about him lots lately but that's an entirely different story.
i don't know i think i might need to not talk to sofa king for awhile. i hate that he has a girlfriend because i finally feel something again. and that really frightens me, nauseates me actually. it's just like hard to feel anything after that because for over three years that's all i felt. and it scares me that i smile when i get a bbm from sofa king, or my phone's ringing and it's him. i hate that i might actually care.
the worst part is i think he cares too. and i can't do this again.
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