last night we had a small part of a conversation that's needed to happen for over a month. i think it's hard for us. i mean we both were really major parts of each others life and to just completely stop talking to someone cold turkey is hard, let alone someone that you used to spend your entire day speaking to.
i'm sorry i went about it the way i did, without a goodbye, just a letter saying i love you. but i had to do it for me, i wouldn't have said half the things i needed to say had i tried to have the conversation with you. i'm stronger now, and whatever you need me to say, whatever you need to ask me or hear from me, i can tell you.
i'm sorry that it hurt you and that i never gave you a chance to make it better this time. i couldn't. i gave you so many chances, whether you knew that's what they were or not, i did. and i tried everything to get over you. everything. and this was the last thing. i needed to move on so that i could still be your best friend. and that may be a selfish thing to do, but i don't ever do things for myself, for the most part, i am pretty selfless, especially when it came to you. and i just had to put myself first for once.
i'm really glad you told me some of the things you did in the last few days. i'm glad i had to see you cold, distant, painful as it was to see. i've never seen you like that, with so much hurt in your eyes. and i'm sorry for that. but i'm not sorry i did it.
you broke my heart, but i wouldn't change it if i could. and if i broke yours i'm sorry, but i wouldn't change that either.
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