it don't make sense to me.

why would you wanna break a perfectly good heart?
why would you wanna take our love and tear it all apart?

consider me gone.

if i'm not the one thing you can't stand to lose, if i'm not that arrow through the heart of you. if you don't get drunk off my kiss, if you think you can do better than this than i guess we're done, let's not drag this on.
consider me gone.

yes, me. it's off.

i shut my phone off so i can escape all of it.

all the things.

i cannot even focus at all right now.
i neeeeed to do homework so bad.
but my mind is just blah.

everything's white.

he didn't have to take anybody.
he knew that taking her would hurt me.
he knew it would.
why would he do that?

picture perfect memories scattered all across the floor.

i'm not doing very good. if i'm honest i'm pretty broken about this whole situation. on friday he told me he doesn't know if he wants to be with me anymore. he's been so distant lately and usually when he gets like that i know he's just trying to be strong and work through things on his own. and i get it, so i just support him and wait for it to pass. but not this time, this time he took it too far. i just have felt so alone lately. then i really love weddings like i love love love them and i haven't been to one as a guest in about 2 years. and i was talking about how bad i wanted to go to one and he's like i know i know you do. (i knew his aunt was getting married.. hint. hint. dumbass). and really what happened is he was taking someone else. another girl, the only one that i hate. and he didn't have the courage to tell me he was going with her. so he just pretended he forgot about the wedding. then he out of nowhere told me he just didn't know if he wanted this anymore. so we fought for 3 hours and i told him to take his space. last night he called me at 1am and said i'm so sorry. i miss you. you're my everything. i'm just so sorry. i can't believe i did this. i can't live without you, i need you. so since i was in calgary with dad i went and saw him this morning. and he told me he went with her. i didn't know what to do. i just left.

12 minutes.

oh good fucking thing it's 12. cause that's never come up in my life before.

she says she has no time.

i know what it's like to search for something more.
that's why i'm always running.

presidential.

i thought i knew you, but i guess it's easier to see what we want than to look for the truth. you think you know me but you don't. and that means you don't know what i can do. you see me as someone who's popular and has all the answers. that's not true. i may not always know what i'm doing, but i'll try to make things better. and when i make a mistake because face it, we all do. i promise i'll ask for your help. i can't do this alone. but if you'll take a chance on me, we can do great things together. i promise if you believe in me i'll find the courage to reach for your every dream.
john f. kennedy said, "the courage of life is a magnificent mixture of triumph and tragedy. a man does what he must in spite of personal consequences. in spite of obstacles and dangers and pressures. and that it basis of all morality."

brace myself for the goodbye, cause it's all i've ever known.

so this is how it ends.
this is where it all goes down.
this is what i don't love you feels like.

my heart hurts.

i feel broken. plain and simple.

this is what i don't love you feels like.

"i don't know what i want".
"you either wanna be with me or you don't. it's not that hard."
"i don't know".

truth, bitter truth.

i've never felt so alone.

i swear this isn't who i'm meant to me

let me feel; i don't care if i break down.
let me fall; even if i hit the ground.
and if i cry a little, die a little
at least i know i lived.

i'm an expert at play it safe and keep it cool.

i've become much to good at being invincible

let me fall.

it's october again
the leaves are coming down
one more year's come and gone
and nothing's changed at all.

if i choose to would you try to understand.

oh the quiet child awaits the day when she can break free from all the things like desperation.

elsewhere.

wasn't i supposed to be somebody who would face the things that i've been running from?

sofaking. so-fucking-retarded.

i'm still trying to figure out what you want. i'm confused, you say you love her and yet you hit on me all the time. i don't think what you're saying is appropriate. it's not fair to me. i don't know how you feel or what you feel. number twelve is important to me. but so are you. so please stop this. you're making it incredibly difficult. everytime i become settled with him and how i feel about him you come say something or tell me you love me and miss me and wish i was there. that's not fair. it's not cool. it's hard and frustrating and i wish you would make up your mind.

nelson mandela.

forgiveness liberates us all.
it removes fear; that's why it is such a powerful weapon.