Perplexed.

I talked to him last night, then this morning, then he called me this afternoon. Like you're in Paris. Go have fun. I promise I'll call if there's an explosion. 

I don't know I love it and hate it at the same time. I hate that B is at his beck and call to come help but I also was incredibly grateful that she could help me today and that she was so nice to me about it. 

I think he was drunk when I talked to him this afternoon. Granted it was like 1am for him hahaha. But still he was funny on the phone and I laughed and I'm just so indecisive. I don't know what I want or how I feel. 

S texted me like B, he loves you. He called you from Paris. But the other part of me is like yeah, and then asked to Facetime his dog haha. I mean we had a good chat and such but at the same time I just feel like one of his bitches at his beck and call. 

I honestly have no problem staying here and helping him and the stuff I've done is minute. But I still have this feeling that didn't really sink in until today when B showed up. And I know he'd do anything for me, I mean this morning I asked him for a jersey today and he's like OF COURSE. It was silly but he does things for me too and I know that. I mean he's on my resume for flip sakes. 

I think the hardest part is like I love him. I truly do love that weird little fucker. But I don't know if I'm in love with him. He makes me laugh and he literally possesses everything I want but I just don't honestly know.