Heart of Darkness.

I miss him a little bit today. Not as much as I thought I would by now. I definitely miss talking to him though. It's little things. I think at this point I feel more disappointed and morose than hurt. It bothers me that it doesn't bother him that we haven't spoken. It's little things in conversation and his silly mannerisms and wit that I miss.
I feel more content than I thought. I know I need to remain strong. If I have to cry myself to sleep, so be it. I need him to make an effort.
I'm torn because I always think about how straightforward S is with boys. No mind games: if I like you, I like you. End of story.
I utilitze that attitude when it suits me. When I want to text him but I feel like I shouldn't, I convince myself: if you wsnt to talk to him, just talk to him.
Something is holding me back though. I think it's a combination of things. I don't know. I'm going to burry my head in a book now so I can ignore my heart.