Scale back the analytical.

I had a dream last night about BR too. We were talking about some couple. I don't even know who. But we were talking about how it's weird they were together because there was this connection between _________ and _________ instead. And he looked at me and he said, "chemistry". And I was like what? He said, "Chemistry. That's what it is between them." I'm like yeah, I suppose that makes sense. And he's like, "Just because there's great chemistry doesn't mean it will make a great relationship. Like us for example. We have chemistry."
I woke up and I was kind of like that was a weird dream. But I mean, it makes sense to me. I think that it's really quite true. Chemistry is not the only contributing factor to a relationship. And the more I actually think about it, BR and I would not be a good couple because we are both too laid back. No one would step up and take control.
I think I needed a dream like that. I mean, we do have chemistry. Last night we're sitting at the table and all these people are coming into Tim's at like 9:30 and it was literally packed and we're like wtf hahaha. He looks at me and says, it's probably speed dating or something... any second some dude is going to tap my shoulder and tell me to beat it so he can talk to you. And I just laughed.
Yesterday afternoon I said I was going to the gym but we were planning to meet up and he's like sooo when are you going to clang and bang?
He just makes me laugh. We do have good chemistry. And we have a great friendship. I needed to have that dream to realize that sometimes it's okay to have great chemistry with a person. It can contribute to a great friendship.
I think sometimes I get so wrapped up in wanting to find someone that I force good things in my mind. I force friendships that are just great friendships because I just want someone to be next to me. I am not like "oh my gosh I need a boyfriend, I can't be alone, I am so lonely". But I do want to have a partner in my life and sometimes it'd just be nice to have that physical presence in my life. I am only 22, I recognize that I have lots of time left to find a future with a man but I'm still a human being and I get lonely sometimes and I long for that connection some days.