Strength.

So last Wednesday I started to write about it. I was tired though so I went to sleep. In my class on Wednesday, I got super emotional. It was overwhelming actually. We talked about personal life changing experiences. We had to write about a significant person, a significant place and a significant event.
People began to share these incredibly personal stories with people they've known for only a few weeks. One guy spoke about the testicular cancer, another girl spoke about losing a friend, and the guy right before me spoke about the racism he encountered in Calgary because of the colour of his skin.
When I went up I think I was just so blown away by the emotional toll I had just encountered (I was one of the last to share). So when I went to speak about my sister getting pregnant and J being born, I burst into tears. I remember how sick B was and how they thought she had cancer so when she told us we were relieved. And since she's built such a wonderful life for herself and for him.
I felt like even though I got super emotional about it, I felt like I half-assed the story I shared after everything I encountered this year. I felt like there are a lot of more horrible and more personal things I could have shared. So I was talking to MV about how I kind of felt like a coward for not really opening up the way that I should have. And he spoke to me about it and he was just so kind and so supportive and I didn't really know how to explain it. He reminded me that I have been through a lot in my life and it's okay if I'm not ready to share with other people. He reminded me that being strong isn't relative to someone else. Everyone has strength in different moments. It's okay to be silently strong. It's okay to be strong without showing the world how strong you are. It's okay to just be strong instead of act strong.