It's okay to let go and move on. You're worth it.

As I reread my last post, I thought to myself you are cheating, it is emotional cheating. I also realized that it's okay for me utilize the friendships I have in my life. It's okay to appreciate those people and rely on their strength during my weakness. I know that people have used my strength during their weaknesses so what makes me so special that I shouldn't rely on other people.
Perfection is in my nature. Idyllic dreams and overachievement and high expectations have driven my life for so long. And yes, while these are a part of who I am, they are not all that I am. I am not better than other people. I always tell other people to rely on me but I never really rely on them. Relying on MV and TT has changed my entire concept of friendship in the last week. MV shows me every single day the way that a boy man should treat me. Every single day he shows me that I deserve better and that it's okay to have people in your life that support you and believe in you and strive to be a part of your happiness.
I'm not cheating on getting over the last six years. I'm finally utilizing supports that actually work. I'm taking steps to put myself first and infusing people who support me every day to move on and life my life. And I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss number twelve because I absolutely do, every single day. But I don't feel broken anymore. I don't feel fragile. I don't feel like at any given moment if the wrong song comes on, or I watch the wrong movie, or see the wrong person that my entire world is going to come crashing down. I feel like I'm going to be okay this time.