I can always find a way to not give myself a chance.

I have been thinking about it a lot, especially on my drive today. NC (number twelve's sister) picked me up from school today and we basically toured southern Alberta for her job. She's a Labatt rep so she basically drives to liquor stores and sets up the marketing stuff and has people sign things. We were talking about my week etc. and how fun it's been and what I've done and she's like well it kind of sounds like you're dating... are you sure you're not? And I was like absolutely sure. And then it got me to thinking about it. And I was thinking about how I think he's a brilliant man to marry but my heart doesn't jump when I see him. Obviously he makes me very happy and I have a great time when we hang out but in my head I'm not like I want to kiss him or bang him or any of those things. And I feel like those are some important features of a relationship unfortunately.