Confessions.

I have a confession. I've been really lonely lately. I'm sure you can tell from my lyrics and discussions of number twelve but it is really hard for me to admit when I'm lonely. It's really hard because I like being alone most of the time and I recognize that there's a major difference between being alone and being lonely. Most of the time I'm just alone but lately I've been lonely. I think part of it is that I saw number twelve and I miss him and I would love to just lay next to him. I mean tonight we talked about his ridiculous half-sick theory and how it made my night tonight. So that's why I'd love to just lay in his arms and have those ridiculous conversations about all the things he does to drive me bonkers but I know that's not good for me.
It's also hard for me because pretty much all of my friends are in relationships including my roommate. Literally the only person that comes to mind as single is TK. It's hard because one of my good friends, while I love her to death, talks waaaayy too much about her boyfriend. And I want to be supportive but sometimes I'm like stfu.
I think it's also hard because NB and CK are getting married. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to get married but it makes me sad that I don't even really have any boy in my life that I could see myself marrying (except number twelve but that's a whole nother ball game and not feasible at this time). I just feel like I should have someone to share things with, everyone else does you know?
I think my sister having baby was really hard too. Seeing how TH has been with him and how's he's been treating her is soooo nice and so hard at the same time. My other sister's husband is like the best man in the whole world and I hope one day I find a boy who loves me half as much as he loves her.
It's hard for me because I'm at such a different point in my life than my sisters. I am 4 and 12 years younger than them. I'm not ready for marriage or children but is really like someone who loves me back. I think that's what I desire most right now, someone who loves me for me.
So here's my confession of being an actual girl: I long for love. I long for someone who loves me.