i swore i'd never fall again.

i hate being honest with myself. it scares me. in fact, i'm terrified right now. falling for another boy means geting my heart broken again; almost inevitably. i'm sure it won't be the same because well i don't think it's possible to go through or feel that again. i think you only get that feeling once in a lifetime. i am starting to fall for him and yes i'm terrified. i'm terrified for him to be a few blocks a way all summer. i'm terrified i might actually spend my summer with him. i'm terrified i'll have someone there, at any time i need. i'm terrified to go to the lake lot and to participate in family celebrations that he made me promise i'd be at. i'm terrified to have him meet the other half of my family. i'm terrified he might actually love me for me. i'm terrified that this is it, a relationship. i'm not this girl. i'm terrified i might actually need someone. i'm terrified it might actually become real.