if i'm honest with myself i'm actually a bit upset about the whole sofa king situation. i'm not mad by any means, i really did expect this. i'm just hurt a little bit. maybe a bruised ego?
i guess i just felt something again. i haven't felt anything real in so long. i felt something. i got butterflies but still felt so comfortable. it wasn't really weird like i'd expected; in fact it was really natural. he knew when i was upset and just being with him comforted that.
he made me realize that i probably just keep number twelve around because he is at my beck and call. he made me realize i don't feel anything; i forced myself to become numb.
all along i knew he was still into km, he loves her and i get that. and i really like her, she's a really cool girl. i don't like what she did to him but that's not my place. it's his choice and i respect his decisions. i don't appreciate the way he went about it but i know him so well that i figured he'd pick a good friend to hit on; he's done it before.
he reminded me the way i want to be treated, the way i deserve to be treated. he reminded me how i won't be treated and what i won't go through again. he made me remember what it's like to have a friend that you aren't even a little bit afraid to tell anything to. he made me remember how to trust, unconditionally.
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