Monday, October 18, 2010

it's just salt water.

i don't know how to do this. to be friends with him. i can't imagine my life without him. but i also can't imagine seeing him with another girl. i don't think i'd be able to just sit and watch him be with someone else. i know that it's not fair but i just don't think that i can do that. i don't think i'll ever be ready to see him with someone else.

book reviews.

i have an over-whelming amount of homework to do so i really need to get of the computer. i have to read the book and do the review for friday. let's go baby.

you stole my happy, you made me cry.

you had my heart now i want it back.
i'm starting to see everything you lack.

don't outsmart your common sense.

be a best friend, tell the truth and over-use i love you.

Sunday, October 17, 2010

randomness.

so i just checked my nexopia... i have a whole bunch of messages from random people like hey! hey, do you have yahoo? let's chat. hey, i'm bored, let's chat on yahoo. and giving me their email addresses.
heelllooooo i don't go on nexopia like ever. i don't even know what yahoo is, i'm assuming some sort of messenger. and i don't even know who you are.

wish me luck.

i really really need to do an insane amount of homework this week.

grammar queen.

i don't even think unloyal i a word. i think it's like disloyal. hahaha

that's a point for sofa king.

sofa king and his girlfriend are on a 'break'. yep, we all know how much i love those. anyways he's been hitting on me a lot lately but now they're actually not together. it's weird. so we were talking about everything today and i was like i need to know where your heads at. i need you to tell me sober if you regret it.
his response was, "i regret the fact that i was unloyal."
that is a really fantastic way to pinpoint how i feel. because i cannot honestly say i regret it because it taught me a lot. and i understand things i didn't before. and i feel things for sure. it reaffirmed a lot for me is perhaps the best way to explain it. and i'm the type of person that needs plenty of reassurance because i always second guess myself.
so yes, i regret the fact that i was unloyal.

i'm past the point of breaking.

i'm sick and tired of everybody thinking they know what's best for me. maybe God wanted me to be nothing special.

what if i told you that innocence is yours.

let go and believe.

speak now.

october 25 can't come fast enough.

soul and spirit, chord and lyric.

it's gotta this one.

can you feel this.

what if i told you your tears haven't been ignored.

alone and lonely.

i am so fucking tired of seeing happy couples everywhere. holding hands, making out, smiling like a fool. screw all you happy couples.

let's not pretend like you're alone tonight.

you're all that i hoped i'd find, in every single way. and everything i could give is everything you couldn't take. 'cause nothing feels like home, you're a thousand miles away. and the hardest part of living is taking breaths just to stay. 'cause i know i'm good for something, i just haven't found it yet.

the hardest part is letting go.

i guess that i can live without you
but without you i'll be miserable at best.

mayday parade.

miserable at best.

brooke davis says so.

"people that are
meant to be together
always
find their way in the end."

turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you.

i miss number twelve beyond imagination. i called him and his sister drunk on friday and text them and fuck. i'm just crazy about that kid. i used to always pity those girls who were like oh i love him so much, my life is nothing without a boy. that's all he is, a boy. and my best friend i suppose which makes it harder. if i saw myself one year or even six months ago i'd kick my own ass. but i really do miss him. i don't know what i want yet but i can't imagine my life without him at all. i know everything is going to be alright, i'll be alright. i just have to believe that this is what's supposed to happen.

crazy ex-girlfriend.

so last night we went to the bar down south. and cme/antelope hunter/funniest kid in life was dancing with this chick who was all over him in his tight and bright glory and apparently i walked right up to him and said, "THUMBS DOWN. i do not approve. i don't like her hair, her teeth, her makeup, and i do not like her outfit." and i walked away
hahahahaha i am the funniest cock block in life.
apparently he just like looked at her, looked at me and was like uh yeah that's my good friend. and she was like uh yeah i'm gonna go get a drink and peaced. and you know exactly what she was thinking... who was that crazy girl. heelllooo queen of crazy ex-girlfriends.
hahaha sheesh i crack myself up.